


the one wherein Blaine hates Spanish

by villiageidiot



Category: Glee
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-07
Updated: 2012-04-07
Packaged: 2017-12-06 05:42:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,216
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/732072
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/villiageidiot/pseuds/villiageidiot
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>While Blaine was recovering, Kurt came over to visit, making sure to briefly recap most of what he was missing and to keep him up-to-date on the gossip.  But he never mentioned the new Spanish teacher.</p>
            </blockquote>





	the one wherein Blaine hates Spanish

: : :

Okay, whatever, he's not _that_ hot.

On his first day back at McKinley, Blaine realizes that a whole hell of a lot went down while he was out for surgery, so much that he really can't wrap his head around it. Apparently, Sugar and Rory are now dating because he's going to be deported at the end of the year but before that, she was dating Artie? And okay, Finn proposed to Rachel because he found some things out about his birth father and then she said yes so their families had dinner and Finn stayed over for a slumber party? Mercedes broke up with her boyfriend then made Sam cry in front of everyone but decided she couldn't date either of them? And of course, Kurt got a secret admirer then had to turn him down because the aforementioned secret admirer was most certainly not Kurt's boyfriend. Oh, and then Coach Sylvester decided to get pregnant. For some reason.

(None of it really makes any sense to Blaine because good god, he was only out for three weeks. How is all of it even possible in that kind of time span?)

So he's confused because while he was recovering, Kurt came over to visit and drop off homework and bring cookies and yeah, sometimes make-out before his parents came home but afterward, he'd always make sure to briefly recap most of what Blaine was missing and keep him up-to-date on the gossip.

But he never mentioned the new Spanish teacher. Who is seriously, truly, decidedly not _that_ hot.

: : :

Monday.

It starts during Blaine's first day back right after his awesome grand-gesture of surprising Kurt at the party and sidenote: it took Blaine like, five hours to custom sew that eyepatch together, just FYI.

So everything's awesome and he's finally able to walk around at school instead of sit in his bedroom watching endless hours of soap operas and talk shows and infomercials. He's finally able to hang around his friends and talk about Regionals. He's finally able to moon over his boyfriend with two fully functioning eyes instead of just the one.

Everything's awesome.

And then third period happens.

Blaine makes his way into the classroom and moves towards the end desk in the third row because that's where he and Kurt always sit but falters when he sees that Kurt's already in the front of the room with the glee girls. Blaine shoots the back of Kurt's head a quizzical look but then figures Kurt started sitting up there in his boyfriend's absence just so he wasn't sitting alone or stuck with the glee guys in the back. So instead, Blaine shrugs and takes a seat in between Puck and Mike and finally looks towards the blackboard to notice that their Spanish teacher is definitely not Mr. Schuester.

"Who's he?" Blaine asks, nodding towards the chalkboard.

"New teacher," Mike answers. "Mr. Martinez."

Blaine frowns. "Oh. When did that happen?"

He shrugs. "A couple of weeks ago."

Blaine cocks his head and tries really hard to remember Kurt ever mentioning Mr. Schue getting fired or like, quitting. He briefly considers the potency of his pain meds. "What happened to Mr. Schuester?"

"He teaches history," Mike replies, like maybe that's all the explanation Blaine would need to know in order to understand what the hell is going on.

"Okay," Blaine says slowly. But before he can ask Mike to elaborate, Mr. Martinez calls the class to order and shoots the front row a bright toothy smile. Blaine raises his eyebrow when all of the girls sort of giggle and maybe even start to swoon. He watches them for a few moments until he realizes that there's no maybe about it; the girls are definitely swooning. He tilts head, not listening to anything the teacher is saying as it dawns on him that maybe _Kurt_ is even swooning.

He snaps back to reality when he hears everyone around him laugh at something Mr. Martinez says. Except for the front row. They're all out giggling. Ugh.

Blaine slumps back in his chair and tries to pay attention to the rest of the class.

He no longer likes Spanish.

: : :

"How come you never mentioned the new Spanish teacher?" Blaine asks Kurt casually as they take their seats during glee club.

"Hm?" Kurt replies, not making eye contact. "Didn't I?"

Blaine stares at him. "No. No, you did not."

"Hm," he says again. "Must have forgotten."

"Sure," Blaine says, nodding his head. "I'm sure that's totally what happened."

Kurt ignores the polite sarcasm.

Blaine holds out his hand and waits for a moment before Kurt takes it in his own. They sit like that for the rest of class and Blaine decides to let the issue go.

: : :

Tuesday.

Now that Blaine is back, he figures Kurt will like, choose to sit next to his _boyfriend_ again but alas, no. When Blaine makes it to class, Kurt is still sitting up front with the girls. Front and center. He sighs dejectedly and sits in the back. Again.

And it's not even that he's jealous because he's not. He's … irritated. It's just that Mr. Martinez isn't _that_ hot. Not that it matters to any of the girls since they're acting like he's some second coming or Ryan Seacrest or whatever. Well, the girls … and Kurt.

Blaine just doesn't see it.

He's sitting next to Mike again and trying to ignore the girls giggling in the front row. _Giggling_. Like they're six years old or something. Kurt's not giggling (thank god for small favors) but he's still front and center, the nucleus of all of the ridiculous giggling. Ugh.

"What's the big deal?" Mike asks, ten minutes into the lecture.

"Right?" Blaine replies, letting out a sigh of relief. "I thought I was the only one."

Finn leans over. "The only one what?" He's trying to whisper but he's Finn, so.

"Our new Spanish teacher," Mike answers quietly. "It's been weeks and the girls still can't stop talking about him. You didn't notice?"

"I did," he not-whispers, shrugging. It looks a little forced. "I just don't think it's a big deal. I mean, yeah, it's a little weird. But what's the worst that could happen?"

Blaine frowns and thinks for a moment then thanks the world that a student-teacher relationship is like, _beyond_ illegal. Because honestly, his boyfriend up and leaving him to elope in San Juan is the worst that could happen.

"He's one fine looking man, you gotta admit that," Artie chimes in, leaning forward to add to the conversation. He's frowning like he's deep in thought and Puck side-eyes him. "What?" he continues. "I'm just saying what we're all thinking."

"No," Mike argues simply.

Artie shrugs and holds his fist out. "Come on, Blaine. I know _you_ hear me."

He raises an eyebrow. "Not really, no."

"No?" Finn asks incredulously. "But, you know." Read: You're gay and therefore you should find him irresistible.

Blaine shrugs. "I don't know. I don't think he's _that_ hot."

Puck nods towards the direction of all of the giggling and says, "Looks like you're the only one, dude."

Blaine rolls his eyes but can't think of anything else to say.

"Kurt, I mean," Puck clarifies even though it's completely unnecessary. "Kurt thinks he's _that_ hot. Like, your boyfriend Kurt."

Blaine narrows his eyes. "Yes, I get your point. Thanks."

He leans back in his chair and decides to be nonchalant about it, just like Finn's doing and just like Mike's sort of trying to do. Because really, Finn's right. What's the worst that could happen?

Then he hears Kurt make some comment about Mr. Martinez's jaw line and Blaine can't resist an eyeroll and just, _whatever_.

"He's not _that_ hot," Mike says quietly, face blank.

"Right?" Blaine responds, shooting him a wide-eyed look.

They both hear Tina let out a breathy laugh and Blaine watches Mike grimace. He feels bad for him and tries to think of something consoling to say but then:

Kurt giggles.

And, _ugh_.

Blaine still does not like Spanish.

: : :

"So are we doing something after school today?" he asks Kurt, scooting his chair closer to his boyfriend as they wait for Mr. Schue to start glee rehearsal.

"I can't today," Kurt answers, distracted. He's rifling through his bag for something.

"No?" Blaine replies, definitely not able to keep the disappointment out of his voice.

Kurt glances up to give him an apologetic look. "I'm working on that project for the Spanish extra credit."

He blinks. "Kurt, you have an A in that class."

"I need to keep my GPA up," he deflects.

Blaine sighs. "How long will you be working on it?" He mostly wants to know if Kurt'll be _alone_ because he is totally not down with him spending some quality one-on-one time with their Spanish teacher, one who is _at best_ only mildly-to-moderately hot and nothing more, thank you very much.

Kurt's back to rummaging through his bag. "Should just be a couple of hours. There's a group of us working on it."

Oh great, awesome, a whole group of them. So Kurt is spending his afternoon with the girls currently sitting three feet from him while they all swoon and debate the color of Mr. Martinez's eyes.

Kurt finally finds whatever he was looking for and gently drops his bag to the ground. He subconsciously shifts closer to Blaine until they're borderline cuddling, and they sit like that throughout practice.

Blaine decides to let it go. Again.

: : :

Wednesday.

When he walks into third period, ugh, Kurt's actually in mid-conversation with Mr. Martinez. Blaine re-claims his spot between Puck and Mike which, god, might even be his _permanent_ seat now. Blaine's on edge and staring so hard at the back of Kurt's head that he can't believe there's not angry beams of light shooting from both of his (now fully functional) eyes.

He spends most of the class listening to their teacher talk about historical Spanish architecture, taking notes and using every fiber of his dignified dignity to ignore the boy sitting in the front row, listening raptly.

"He's talking about cathedrals, Kurt," he mutters to himself. "It's seriously not that fascinating."

"You'd think they were talking about the Grammy red carpet, the way they _ooh_ and _aah_ ," Mike quietly commiserates.

Blaine sighs.

When he looks over his shoulder, he sees that Finn is looking far more relaxed than he has the past two days. When Blaine turns his gaze back towards the front, he notices that Rachel doesn't seem to be partaking in the _ooh_ -ing and _aah_ -ing anymore. She's simply watching the slide-show of the various cathedrals and palaces like the rest of the class. Like the _normal_ people.

Blaine sighs again. "How do I compete with that?" he wonders aloud. "With the hair and the tattoos and the monochromatic wardrobe. And god, that accent. I can't compete with these things." Because Blaine can do a lot of things to impress his boyfriend but faking a Spanish accent? Not one of them.

"With an old guy?" Finn asks skeptically. "You can't compete with some old guy?"

And the bitch of it is, no. He cannot. Even if the old guy isn't _that_ hot. Curse you, charming accent and artfully styled coif.

Blaine really does not like Spanish; nay -- he hates it.

: : :

"So are you free tonight?" Blaine tries as they watch Mr. Schuester write _PASSION_ on the chalkboard. He is immediately (silently) indignant because Mr. Schue is _ruining his life_ with this week's theme. Kurt will sing a passionate song about the damn Spanish teacher and his glee adviser is actually going to make Kurt's boyfriend _watch it_.

It's a cruel, cruel world.

"Yes," Kurt answers, smiling at Blaine. "Come over?"

His heart surges and then:

"Mercedes told me about some telenovela on one of those public access Spanish channels that she watched last night. It'll be interesting, don't you think?"

"Oh totally," Blaine answers, blank look. _Totally._

Kurt lets out a pleased laugh and claps his hands together before grabbing one of Blaine's in his own.

It is harder and harder to let the issue go. But he does.

Cruel, cruel world.

: : :

Thursday.

Blaine instinctively takes his seat in the back row. It's depressing. As he sits next to Mike, who is expressionless, Blaine notices two disturbing things. One, Artie is still looking pretty intrigued, staring at their teacher and sort of failing at not being obvious about it. And two, Sam is casually sitting back in his seat, looking relaxed for the first time this week. Which means --

He glances to the front and yeah, Mercedes is off to the side with Rachel and Quinn. Two more defectors from the swooning masses. And now the masses have evolved into simply Kurt and Tina.

Blaine looks to Mike cautiously. "How are you so cool with this?"

"It's stoic. I'm stoic."

"Right," he says slowly. "You're really okay?"

"It's not stoicism if I talk about it, Blaine."

Blaine sighs and settles into his chair. Ten minutes in to the lecture, Mr. Martinez segues from Spanish architects to Spanish artists and he watches Kurt light up.

Blaine cocks his head and gives their teacher a serious once-over. He stands by the fact that seriously, he's not _that_ hot. He analyzes his height, the muscles in his arms. He tries to figure out his speed, his agility.

"Do you think I could take him?" he asks quietly. "Like in some sort of rumble?"

"A rumble?" Finn asks, eyebrows raised.

All five say, "No." As an added affront, they say it in unison.

He looks to Finn since he's the only one that sort of knows about Blaine's fight club abilities; surely he must have some confidence? But with a slight shake of his head, Blaine is assured that no, even his boyfriend's step-brother doesn't think he could fight for Kurt and actually _win_.

"In your defense," Artie says, "I think they stopped having rumbles in the 1950s."

Puck leans in closer. "I'll back you up. Intimidating a teacher is pretty badass."

Instead of gratefully accepting, he listens to Mr. Martinez teach Picasso, Serrano, Dali in his charming accent, blah blah blah.

Blaine hates Spanish. And also Spain.

: : :

"Lima Bean after school?" Blaine asks before glee, taking a seat next to Kurt.

"Definitely," Kurt answers, giving him a small smile. He shifts so that they're practically facing each other.

"Good," he says, almost giddy. "It's a date."

"Yes," Kurt agrees quietly with that same smile. And then: "Do you know that they use organic Latin American coffee beans?"

He swallows, face blank. "No. I did not know that."

Kurt hums a response.

"Yaaay, Latin," Blaine adds.

Kurt smiles again but doesn't respond and Blaine tries to hide his dejected sigh.

Blaine lets the issue go one more damn time. Will it never end?

: : :

Friday.

Blaine is resigned. Mike is relaxed. As he takes his seat he sees that yes, the swooning masses has now dwindled to Kurt and Kurt alone.

Mike's girlfriend is now the final defector. He gives Blaine a quick guilty pat on the shoulder. "Hang in there, man."

Blaine looks to the ceiling, looks towards the heavens. _Oh woe is me_ , he mourns.

Somehow he will make Mr. Martinez rue the day he stepped through those McKinley doors but today is not that day. Today is most certainly not Blaine's day.

Spanish has forsaken him.

: : :

"Dare I ask?" Blaine asks during glee, hopeless. "Are we hanging out tonight?" Because come on, it's a _Friday_. Fridays should be sacred for high-school couples. He deserves at least that much.

Kurt gives him a quizzical look. "Of course," Kurt answers. "Aren't you coming over for Friday dinner? You know my dad likes having you there."

Blaine offers him a shy smile. "Yeah?"

"Of course," Kurt says again. "I'm making tacos."

Blaine smiles falters. "What."

"With ground turkey," he says, defensively. "And a low-sodium seasoning. It'll be healthy, I promise. I'll have sour cream for you and Finn, naturally."

Oh woe, woe. Now even Latin _food_ is creeping its way into the Hummel family traditions. Will nothing remain untainted?

Blaine accepts that he will have to give the issue up _forever_.

: : :

The weekend is glorious. Not a single mention of anything even remotely related to any Spanish speaking country across the globe. Not a single mention of Blaine's arch-nemesis of a high-school Spanish teacher.

But Blaine's parents are out of town, so. It's not like he and Kurt spend too much time talking outside of the confines of Blaine's bedroom.

: : :

Monday redux.

Blaine does a double take when he heads into third period and sees Kurt sitting at their old table, doodling something in his notebook. There's no one in the classroom yet and Blaine walks over with a bright smile. "Hey, you."

"Hey," Kurt replies, shutting his notebook. He moves his bag and hangs it off the back of the chair to make room for Blaine. He smiles up at him.

"Glad you're back," Blaine says. Kurt gives him a confused look but doesn't say anything else.

Kurt and the girls give their extra credit presentation about the many different Latin countries over the world without so much as a single eye flutter towards their teacher. Blaine's surprised when he looks to the back and sees that even Artie's lost his fascination.

Kurt spends the rest of the class writing down verb tenses and occasionally playing footsie with Blaine under the table. They pass a note back and forth throughout the whole period and Blaine realizes he will _die_ of embarrassment if they're caught and he's forced to read the note aloud to the class. It starts off sappier than any love poem he's ever read _ever_ and then veers off into something so _so_ not PG-13. So, you know, pretty much like every other note they've passed back and forth.

Kurt doesn't swoon once. Things are back to normal.

Blaine is once again ambivalent towards Spain.

: : :

Before they have glee practice, Blaine passes by the library during his study hall and sees Kurt sitting alone at one of the tables, textbooks spread out in front of him. He's watching the librarian talk to someone, though, and isn't focused on any of the books on the table. Blaine follows Kurt's line of vision and sees that he's watching Mr. Martinez and oh my god, _come on already because are they seriously back to this_. Blaine is not a fan of regression.

He clenches his jaw and heads into the library. As he makes his way towards Kurt's table, he sees the notebook in front of Kurt is open and that he's been doodling instead of working. Doodling hearts, _what the heck_.

"Seriously, Kurt?" he asks quietly as soon as he reaches the table. Kurt startles out of his thoughts and looks up at Blaine with wide eyes. He tries to close his notebook but Blaine's too quick and grabs it before he has the chance.

"Seriously?" he says again, voice a little less quiet.

"Give it back," Kurt hisses. "God, what are you even doing?"

Blaine narrows his eyes and shakes the notebook. "No, what are you even doing?"

Kurt scoffs. "I'm having a conversation with a _crazy person_ ," he grits out. "Give me that!"

"What, your makeshift sketch book? No," he replies, eyes still narrowed. "Hearts, Kurt? _Hearts_?"

He goes to wave the open page in front of Kurt's eyes to drive home his point that drawing hearts while staring at his Spanish teacher is so not okay on about a million different levels but doing it somewhere his boyfriend could see is just plain _awful_. The heart catches his eye as he goes to wave it, though, and he stares down to see _KURT + BLAINE_ in the center. It's surrounded by about ten other little hearts drawn in an array of colored pens, all showing _K.H. + B.A_ in the middle.

He gapes for a minute and it's just long enough for Kurt to reach out and grab it from him. "You're _mental_ , god," he says, cheeks pink.

Blaine blinks a few times. "That was my name."

"Yes, how very observant," he says, not making eye contact.

"And not Mr. Martinez's."

Kurt finally looks up and glares. "I'm working right now, Blaine. Don't you have study hall? Go to study hall."

But Blaine sits down across from Kurt instead, still a little dazed. "So you're not running off into the sunset to his summer house in Madrid, then."

It's Kurt's turn to gape. "Are you -- What does that mean?"

Blaine nods his head towards their Spanish teacher, still talking to the librarian.

Kurt shakes his head in disbelief. "You think I want to run off with our _Spanish teacher_?"

He shrugs and doesn't answer.

Kurt's mouth is still hanging open. "I have no words."

Blaine leans across the table. "He's old, okay. I just want to throw that out there. And he looks like a nineties soap actor; I bet he even had frosted tips. He may not even have a green card, who knows. These are all very good reasons that you should not be in love with him. I have a list prepared --" He moves to pull out his list. He carries it in his back pocket in case he thinks of things to add.

"He's not you," Kurt says softly, interrupting him. "That should be the only reason on your list."

They watch each other for a few moments and then Blaine gives him a small smile. "I like that reason."

They continue to stare. "You're ridiculous," Kurt says finally. "Why would you even think --"

"Oh don't _even_ ," Blaine scoffs. "You were swooning the whole time I was gone."

Kurt gives him a skeptical look. "I was _bored_ the whole time you were gone, Blaine."

Blaine eyes him.

"He was … fun to look at while my boyfriend wasn't around for me to, you know, _look at_."

He frowns. "But I'm around now."

"That you are."

"So no more swooning?"

"Oh, I'm swooning," Kurt says with an embarrassed laugh, gesturing to his notebook. "A year later and clearly I'm still swooning."

Blaine gives him a slow grin. "Okay, that kind swooning I'm really okay with."

Kurt looks away finally, his cheeks starting to flush again as he gathers up his books. "Let's skip glee practice," he says which is _crazy_ because they are model students, ones that do not play hooky.

He's about to agree because he loves saying yes to Kurt. But then he remembers. "Wait, no you can't. I have a surprise for you."

Because if last week taught him anything, it's that if you can't beat 'em, join 'em.

: : :

"Mr. Schue?" Blaine asks after the bell rings. "I'd like to sing my song for our theme this week. Could I?"

"Sure," he answers, gesturing to the front of the class and taking a seat in the front row.

He heads to the front after giving Kurt's hand a tight squeeze. "Well, since this week is about passion, I figured what's more passionate than -- than the untamed heat of Latin music?"

Kurt's jaw drops but probably because Blaine just said 'untamed heat'.

He nods to the band to start playing but before Blaine can even open his mouth, Kurt jumps out of his chair and grabs his arm.

"I need to talk to Blaine," he says quickly, pulling him out towards the hall. Everyone sort of stares for a minute but then he hears Mr. Schue cough awkwardly and ask the class if anyone else is prepared.

"What are you doing?" Kurt asks as they reach the hallway.

Blaine gives him a puzzled look. "Singing? I have a Gloria Estefan mash-up prepared," he explains. "Conga, Get Off Your Feet." It's truly epic.

He groans. "No more Spanish," Kurt tells him. "I'm overloaded with Spanish, with all things Latin."

"But -- but. It's good," Blaine argues. "I choreographed it and everything." Although really, he didn't.

"Fine," Kurt huffs finally. "If you want Latin, I'll give you Latin. When we get to my house, I'll put on some J-Lo. Finn probably has a DVD of Legend of Zorro. Whatever it is that gets you in the mood to _make out with me_. My dad's gone for some rally as a keynote speaker which means we can actually have my door _closed_."

Blaine gapes.

"I'll text Finn to grab our things. And to take his time coming home."

Blaine gapes a little more.

"Are you coming?" Kurt asks, impatient. He's got a look in his eyes, though. That same look he gets when Blaine serenades him. Or the look he gets when they're tangled up on the couch watching Disney movies right before Blaine leans over to give him a light, innocent kiss. It's a look Kurt gives him all the time, really. Blaine thinks that sometimes he might forget to notice.

He's noticing _now_ , though, and he realizes that his boyfriend might be bored with Spanish but he is most definitely not bored with Blaine. He begrudgingly gives his unspoken thanks to their teacher for helping Blaine remember what _real_ swooning looks like because this right here, this is it.

Choke on _that_ , Spanish.

: : :

end.


End file.
